Peg Life Vol. 31

The book of John, chapter two, as interpreted by me:
Once upon a time Jesus and his mom and his friends went to a wedding. I don't know how they all knew the bride and groom, but apparently they did because they all got invitations. I guess people were having a good time at this wedding because they ran out of wine. Jesus' mom only had a bit of a buzz on so she complained to Jesus. Jesus was like, "I'm not in charge of the wine. Luke was gonna bring that. We gave them the dish set, remember?" And Jesus' mom said, "Ask the servants to get more. I'm too embarassed." Then Jesus saw some big jars and told the servants, "You should serve the stuff in those washing jugs. It'll probably get 'em drunk." So the servants took some to the head party guy and he drank it and was all, "Awesome!" And that's the first time everybody realized Jesus was a pretty cool guy.
After the wedding Jesus and his posse went to church. Turns out there was a farmers convention taking place with merch tables set up. Jesus went all psycho and started whipping everybody with some rope and yelling, "You jerks! You can't do that here!" So the convention guys are all like, "What the hell? What makes you so high and mighty?" And Jesus said, "If you demolished this place I could rebuild it in three days." And the convention guys went, "Yeah right." Then Jesus was all, "Oh, and by this place, I mean me." And then later he did it and everyone was all like, "Ooh, snap!"

And now the note I found in my Bible stuck between the pages of First Corinthians chapter three, verse two and chapter seven, verse twelve:
Dec. 18/03
Dwight,
I know right now you probebly don't even want to talk with me, and I don't blame you. Ill tell you how I feel. I'm down + doughting. But that's not major. You see, I don't know what's wrong. I'm in the mood to cry and I don't know why. The only thing I know is that all I wanted you to do was sit down and hold me. That's what helps the most. To hold me + pray + talk or tell me about your day. Girls come in that mood. It's the only thing we want to do. Someone that says it's okey + understands us even though he doesn't. I'm speaking in riddles I know. I don't even know how to explain my self. Please pray for me. I'm so sorry for hurting you again. I'm sorry.
Joanna

Bible quotes that are sexy when taken out of context:
"The enemy laid hands on all her treasures / she saw pagan nations enter her sanctuary"
"Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute?"
"How long, O Lord?"
"You will groan, when your flesh and body are spent"
"Behold, I am coming soon!"


Tony Hawkins got his dollar's worth