Peg Life Vol. 21

Big John Waters (not the director, hence the "Big") made a career of debasement. Mostly in his basement. He tongue scrubbed toilets. Kept them clean, but only his own shit. It's a sanitary issue. He had issues. Wouldn't touch another person but through latex. Leather wasn't his thing. Didn't feel comfortable in something else's skin. He had five angles mounted with cameras to catch the feed. He had a handler for the duos. Occasionally a cameraman. Sometimes it went gonzo. He always said it's funny what people pay to see. He didn't say what people paid to see was funny. He wanted to be a dancer but he never got the moves right. So he switched leotards for plastic wrap and got paid for his hobby. He never did anything illegal but you could never really call him uptight. "Free men are free men," he'd say. "But I'm not a free man." No one really knew if he believed. No one even knows what that means.
Andrew Arthur was a technician. He installed Big John's cameras and didn't ask questions. He kept his thoughts to himself and he was born by Caesarian section. He didn't like his life till he found out where it was headed. He was otherwise a stand up guy until he rolled his van and ended up in a wheelchair. That's when he got happy. He got cared for and he got lazy. He got fatter but he didn't think it mattered very much. His wheelchair was electric and he had it wired for speed. He wasn't going anywhere but he wanted to be early. His girlfriend wasn't much for tact. She called him Rolex. She got married out in Boston but he lost the invitation. He played cards that night and lost the watch she gave him. It was Swiss. She was Irish. It never came to him if they had ever once connected. It wasn't ninety minutes before the first time they had bedded. He'd had his legs to use that time but now he just shrugged it off. His shoulders still worked fine.
In other news, the winners of the "Go to the Opium Exhibit with Tony" contest are Stephen Harfield and David Streit as they were the only ones who replied at all to the last Peg Life. Congratulations Stephen and David. And to all the other qualified readers who didn't even try to enter the contest: Fuck you too. I don't even want to go to the museum with you.

Tony Hawkins doesn't know what's wrong with your cat