Monday, May 29, 2006

Peg Life Vol. 28

Last night I saw the (International) Noise Conspiracy and X-Men: The Last Stand. I was disappointed by one of them. Guess which one. Here's a hint. I spent most of my day today searching for my balls because they had been rocked off by the other one. So the question becomes where was I combing the ground for my displaced testicles, at the movie theater or the Pyramid? Maybe I'm getting too graphic, so I'll just say that the correct guess would be X-Men. Now, however, I am presented with a quandary. Do I write about the concert that was good or the movie that was not so much so? Come to think of it, it's hardly a quandary. I'm just gonna end up writing about both. Why do I need to waste your time writing about making my decision which one to write about first? To seem all self aware and postmodern? Because I think it's clever? I fucking do it all the time and I'll tell you right now, I'm not clever that often. So let's cut the bullshit.
⁂This paragraph break brought to you by Hamburger Helper™, and the estate of Guido Esperanza⁂
Back in Peg Life Vol. 4 I wrote about how Maynard James Keenan, Serj Tankian, and Cedric Bixler were the greatest rock singers around. Well, I stand by that, but I feel obliged to add that Dennis Lyxzén, while not quite in the top three vocalists, is still a consummate frontman. He's passionate, rockin', he's got charisma to burn, and the best stage moves I've ever seen. And he's Swedish. Put him in front of bands as kickass as Refused and the (International) Noise Conspiracy and your scrotum will rock itself open, dropping your gonads to the floor. I know it's not a pretty sight but that's the power these groups command. Don't worry about your nuts, though. I've found they're not too difficult to reattach.
⁂This paragraph break brought to you by Cliff's Auto Body, and shitake mushrooms⁂
It's here that I would start to write about X-Men 3 but it occurs to me that if I want to complain about it I'm going to have to get specific and I realize some of my nerdier readers may not have seen it yet. So to save them (and myself, really) from the whole spoiler thing I'll just say that Superman Returns had better be fucking awesome for Bryan Singer to make up for leaving the series in the hands of Brett Ratner. Thankfully, from the last trailer I've seen I'd say the odds look good.
⁂This paragraph break brought to you by the Windows® Character Map ‽℗¤℥∰≎⊁⋦☼⋇⋢※⁂

Tony Hawkins is growing a day older every day

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home