Peg Life Vol. 31

The book of John, chapter two, as interpreted by me:
Once upon a time Jesus and his mom and his friends went to a wedding. I don't know how they all knew the bride and groom, but apparently they did because they all got invitations. I guess people were having a good time at this wedding because they ran out of wine. Jesus' mom only had a bit of a buzz on so she complained to Jesus. Jesus was like, "I'm not in charge of the wine. Luke was gonna bring that. We gave them the dish set, remember?" And Jesus' mom said, "Ask the servants to get more. I'm too embarassed." Then Jesus saw some big jars and told the servants, "You should serve the stuff in those washing jugs. It'll probably get 'em drunk." So the servants took some to the head party guy and he drank it and was all, "Awesome!" And that's the first time everybody realized Jesus was a pretty cool guy.
After the wedding Jesus and his posse went to church. Turns out there was a farmers convention taking place with merch tables set up. Jesus went all psycho and started whipping everybody with some rope and yelling, "You jerks! You can't do that here!" So the convention guys are all like, "What the hell? What makes you so high and mighty?" And Jesus said, "If you demolished this place I could rebuild it in three days." And the convention guys went, "Yeah right." Then Jesus was all, "Oh, and by this place, I mean me." And then later he did it and everyone was all like, "Ooh, snap!"

And now the note I found in my Bible stuck between the pages of First Corinthians chapter three, verse two and chapter seven, verse twelve:
Dec. 18/03
Dwight,
I know right now you probebly don't even want to talk with me, and I don't blame you. Ill tell you how I feel. I'm down + doughting. But that's not major. You see, I don't know what's wrong. I'm in the mood to cry and I don't know why. The only thing I know is that all I wanted you to do was sit down and hold me. That's what helps the most. To hold me + pray + talk or tell me about your day. Girls come in that mood. It's the only thing we want to do. Someone that says it's okey + understands us even though he doesn't. I'm speaking in riddles I know. I don't even know how to explain my self. Please pray for me. I'm so sorry for hurting you again. I'm sorry.
Joanna

Bible quotes that are sexy when taken out of context:
"The enemy laid hands on all her treasures / she saw pagan nations enter her sanctuary"
"Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute?"
"How long, O Lord?"
"You will groan, when your flesh and body are spent"
"Behold, I am coming soon!"


Tony Hawkins got his dollar's worth

Peg Life Vol. 30

*Hey Tony,
First-time caller, long-time listener. Just finished watching a BBC documentary on acid and mescaline. Both look pretty fun. Only problem is, I don't know how to get any, and like a chump I refused to take organic chemistry in high school. Drag. Anyways, thought I'd email you on this matter since you seem to know what's what on many a psychedelic related issue. Thank you for your consideration.
S.H.
Topeka, KS*
Thanks for writing, S.H. It's always nice to get a letter from a fan. In regards to your inquiry vis a vis LSD and mescaline, these substances can be acquired with little to much trouble. LSD and mescaline in their pure forms are both prohibited by law in Canada and the U.S. Since LSD is only available in its pure form this effectively makes all LSD illegal. The legal status presents obvious obstacles in the procurement of such an hallucinogen. Mescaline, on the other hand, can be more easily acquired as a result of a legal technicality. While the chemical mescaline is indeed a scheduled substance, the plants containing it are not. Therefore one can possess, grow, and sell (for purposes other than psychoactive uses) cacti including Lophophora Williamsii (peyote [in Canada]), Trichocereus Peruvianus (Peruvian Torch), and Trichocereus Pachanoi (San Pedro). If the intention is to consume the mescaline contained within these cacti, their unscheduled status does not necessarily exempt one from illegal activity. Any mescaline extract made from the plant material would be considered prohibited. However, such an extract would generally be consumed promptly enough to avoid any serious penal repercussions. On a more practical note, all of aforementioned the cactus species are available to purchase through the mail from a number of online, as well as more analog sources. If specifics are required I can certainly elaborate upon request. It should be noted that while it is easier to obtain (with fewer legal ramifications) the necessary materials for the ingestion of mescaline, it much more expensive and time consuming than LSD. That concludes tonight's broadcast. We thank you for tuning in and wish you a pleasant evening.

Tony Hawkins is not a practitioner of Iron Panda jujitsu